This is the last time.

that I can say.

"I will be 20 next year."

HaHa.

What did sushi A say to sushi B?

Wassa-B?!

Why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

Who is the coolest guy in the hospital?

The Ultra-Sound Guy

Who is the Second coolest guy in the hospital?

the hip-replacement guy

Who is the Third coolest guy in the hospital?

the RAD-iologist

How does snoop dog clean his clothes?

BLE-ACH! (said with gangster swagger) ;)

How does snoop dog wash his car?

His hoes

What are marios jeans made out of?

Denim Denim Denim (mario underground theme)

What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?

Rough!

What did snoop dog say when he saw 50-cent's sweater?

Gee-You-Knit?!

Two cows in a field, one says "moo", the other's exclaims "AH man! I was about to say that!"

Two fish in a tank, one says to the other "do you know how to drive this thing?!"

Two muffins in an oven, one says "Cor it's hot in here!", the other shouts "AHH a talking muffin!"

7 dwarves in a shower all feeling happy, happy left so they started feeling grumpy

Which are the funkiest animals?

brown-chicken-brown-cow! (bowchickabowwow)

What do gay horses eat?

HAA-AYYY

What comes before Part B?

PAAARRTTAYYY!

Billy was a chemists son,

but now he is no more,

what he thought was H2O

was H2SO4!

What is a chickens favourite composer?

BACH!

What do Mozart and Beethoven turn into when they die?

de-composers.

Whats brown and rhymes with snoop?

Dr. Dre

The calendars days are numbered

Today I crossed a road

then I walked into a bar

then I screwed in a lightbulb

then I realised, my life is a joke!

Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkly?

cos if they were small white and hard, they'd be paracetamol

Knock Knock

Who's there?

I eat p

I eat p-who?

ha.

What do you get if you throw a piano down a mineshaft?

A-Flat Minor

What cheese is just not your's?

NOT-YO CHEESE! (nacho)

What did the egg say to the saucepan?

it'll take me a while to get hard, i just got laid by a chick

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar and the giraffe goes and lies on the floor.

the barman asks, "whats that lyin' there?"

The man replys "thats not a lion! thats a giraffe!"

Two cats on a hot roof, which falls off first?

the one with the smallest μ ('Mew' Coefficient of friction)

I have a dream, a dream of a better world. That one day chickens may cross the street and not have their motives questioned.

Moonlight & Boardgames

To me, there is nothing so romantic as an idea.

in the early hours, damp weather, freezing temperatures,

rough seas, worried families, tired eyes,

moonlight, flasks of earl grey,

trivial pursuit.

To me, there is nothing so romantic as an idea.

3-Point Turn

How low is our expectation of the tolerance of others

that we wonder if people get annoyed

when cars do a 3-point-turn in front of their house.

Dying to Live.

Some people measure every penny,
to minimize their costs.

Some people shield their hearts,
to ensure their love isn't lost.

Some people bottle their laughter,
to protect them from a happiness drought.

Some people cap their talent,
to stop it from all falling out.

But, some people do not clench their fists,

to hold on to what they have.

Life can be Drenching,

Soaking,

Dripping,

Sopping,

Flowing,

Splashing.

It's wasn't meant to be contained or merely remembered.

more only flows in,

when you let go what you have.

"When I was One"

"When I was One,

I was just begun...

...But now I am Six

I am clever as clever,

So I think I'll be six now

for ever and ever." - A.a.Milne

...But now I am Nineteen

I am clever as clever,

thinking that I'll be Nineteen

for ever and ever.

俳句 - Haiku

富、力　　

我々要るか？

愛要るね。

此れわ私の初俳句が日本語で書きました。

楽しかったでした。

Wealth, Power

Do we need?

Love - We need.

This is my first haiku that I've written in Japanese.

It was fun.

Cruel Irony

Running swiftly through the forest,

panting, rushing past rustling leaves.

Hand in hand, you and her,

burst from the undergrowth into moonlight.

Suddenly you hear the thunder of falling water

you skid to a stop at the edge of the waterfall.

Your assailants have you cornered now,

emerging from the dense undergrowth

their snarls revealing sharp teeth.

Only 2 options.

1. Jump and get separated, possibly drown.

2. Fight to stay together, sacrificing yourself to gnashing teeth.

Because there's only so long you can stand on the edge of a cliff.

By fighting she will definitely lose you.

But if you're brave enough to jump.

You just never know...

Pick 'n' Mix

Memories of a 7-year-old.

"There's so many to choose from!

must be about 100 different kinds,

still, I'm going to get all fizzy cola bottles

they're the best!"

shouted Tom with a twinkle in his eye,

shoving cola bottles into his small paper bag.

"Ow yuck!" shouted Alice.

"I'm going to get half chocolate buttons,

and half marshmellow mushrooms"

she began to carefully count them into her bag.

and me. with a smile,

and a cheeky tongue sticking out to the side

"I think I'll have one of each."

Coming Home

It's not where you live,
but where you're Understood.

It's not building that provides comfort,

but where you're soul finds rest.

It's not even the people that live there,

but just where you're accepted.

It's not making a goal-orientated environment,

but where all genuine efforts are appreciated.

It's not a place where you can't cry,

but where you can slide along the floor in you're underwear singing 'Journey'.

I'ts not a place where things are expected of you

But where they are eager to see great things of you.

I think I'm coming home,

In my own skin.

Knot Together

the dry texture of coarse braided string

and the soft flick of lace.

Hands tug each side

and begin to dance.

Over and under

Round and through

the best knots

are doubled and pulled tight

as time passes the tangle gets shaken and tugged

the string becomes wet and frayed

Some laces become undone

Some get tighter. More as one.

it takes two hands to make and maintain a sturdy knot

it only takes one to pull the whole thing apart.

Meet- The Greys

it was 7:30pm when Working Grey decided it was time to turn in and go to bed. "Night guys" signaled working. "see you tomorrow" said the rest.
at 10pm Exercise Grey announced, "i'm pretty tired guys, i'm gonna schnooze", and off he went.

The rest now too apathetic to move, talked amongst themselves. Chatty Grey became exhausted after everyone had left Skype and at midnight decided to turn in. Inquisitive Grey finished his encyclopedia at 2am, slammed it shut and on his slow walk to bed murmured "Night Creativity Grey".


Creativity Grey (the most bashful grey) had remained largely silent and restrained until the others had left. Whilst the Grey house was silent, Creativity Grey painted abstract colours on the walls, opened up the windows, and wrote a strange blog about a Family of different Brains before turning out the lights and going to sleep at 4am.

Playground

Colours and textures

seasons and swirls

those having fun

are lost in that world

King of the castle

fall and get bruised

cry and get up again

not ready to lose

the future is unsure

but just having fun

treat the game playfully

and in a way, you've won.

Funny how great a Playground can be

its like life in that way.

"The world's a playground, somewhere along the way everyone forgets it" - Yes Man

Animals

Nature has a huge variety

many are similar.

But some,

Some are just soo alien, so unbelievable, flamboyant and strange.

these rare species live different lives, set apart, they eat strangely, act weridly, and move in ways you wouldn't expect.

But.

in the end they're all just animals, ultimately they're all the same.

they live, eat, sleep and die.

the crazy ones don't half shake it up though!

Belief

belief is drunkenness to a sober man.

it will make you happier and more self confident as long as you don't live in reality.

or is it soberness to a drunk man?

Blogs:

Private, Public Windows,

you look through them,

to see a shattered mirror.

Because thats what they really are; Shattered mirrors.

You look at them and see bits of yourself.

I the Shady Salesman, I the Credulous Consumer

Inhaling clogging dust, brushing grubby clothes,
the familiar twinkling, gently draws my eyes.
A perfect diamond, so pure, that glows.
Enticed, Infatuated, I move to pick my prize.

A moment later my reward is blocked,
cape and coat of a thin man sway,
as they hide my trophy, my efforts mocked.
He looks at me with a grin, and says,
"Good Sir, Good Sir, how are you?
What I offer sir, only a fool would refuse.
Not one, but four apple diamonds new,
the cost? One handshake! thats all! its true!"

Backstepping he thrusts the goods to my palms
and blocks an attempt to survey my original jewel,
perhaps these gems bear equal-a charm,
not accepting this deal would brand me a fool!
My first love now, a forgotten trinket,
so hesitantly I present a hand.
with a smirk and both palms he boldly shakes it
granting all diamonds, just as planned.

Clasping my spoils, I revel in their beauty,
the thin man turns and dissapears from sight
and Thats when it began to happen to me,
the treasure in my grasp blazes white.
Reduced to my knees, with a yelp of pain
I relinquish the fakes as they turn into dust
the burns on my hands tell of the shame.
Again I pick myself up; I must.

Inhaling clogging dust, brushing grubby clothes,
the familiar twinkling, gently draws my eyes...
Encounter him again I shall, although.
You can only fail, if you fail to try

Aspire to Inspire

humbling Awe drenches,

drowns and suddenly dwafed.

crippling Beauty clenches,

lost but held, in its palm.

fearful Courage roars,

caused gravel, under foot to grate.

re-freshing Hope flickers,

enticed, flying closer, to fate.

burning Passions afire

and I, aspire to inspire

Six Word Warning

This is how Their world ends.

Cheshire cat smiles, hide empty eyes

Silver bullets loaded in concealed guns

Throats only manufacture brand name laughter

Conscience sold in ‘As New Condition’

Masks repaired with ever stronger concrete

Souls lay strangled, constricted by cynicism

The day when Their becomes Your

Game Over.